Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club - 4

"Captive Butterfly!"

And the heavens parted, and God said "let there be speedos!" And there were.

This week’s episode weaves itself a plethora of male panty shots galore.

No, really.

I cannot explain to you the open faucet of nostalgia that flooded me at the sight of these sculpted half naked males bending and stretching at impossible but terribly aesthetically pleasing angles. It was as though I was instantly transported back to my days of watching my high school boys' soccer team do their thing during my after school jog.

It was an intensely emotional experience to say the least.

I must however, express my concern over the unspeakable fashion faux pas that took place, and ultimately culminated in several Magical Girl Transformation-esque poses (similar to this). So much so that I am convinced Rei is secretly the wardrobe coordinator for a handful of Disneyland parades or worse, that he is auditioning for a place in one of my favorite kpop boy groups (in which case homeboy is gonna need some more glitter).

Exhibit A) The butthole penguin suit.

Exhibit B) The rainbow butterfly salsa dancer thing.

Prime Time Celebrity Couple Report: The Swimsuit Shopping With Your Boyfriend(s) Edition

Last week the NagiRei ship successfully set sail, but could they have stumbled into troubled waters already!?!?

(audience gasps dramatically)

With the silent and aquatic charms of one brooding Haruka Nanase taking obvious claim in Rei’s heart, what will poor Nagisa be left to do?! Will he be willing to fight for his love!? Furthermore, how might Rin react at the sudden popularity of his crush, especially so soon after an emotionally charged fence pinning worthy of a cheap harlequin novel!??????????!!!!! It’s with the entire creditability of the weather report (which does not ever lie) that we could be looking to see a love pentagon** anytime in the near future! Somebody get the tissues! The popcorn! The porn!

This is particularly foreshadowed in the delicate but telling symbolism of mating butterflies landing near Would Be Nipples (dibs on the band name) towards the end of the episode, which emphasize the fragile yet seductive angst coming our way, and are in no way terribly cheesy representations relating to the episode’s title, or Rei’s learned butterfly stroke (audience coos in approval, begins tearing at eachother’s clothes and orgasmically jumping into pools).

Ah yes.

This is not chlorine in my eyes. I am emotionally overcome by the depth and enthusiasm of potential poolside orgies.

Footnotes:

*Kou is proving to be an exemplary female character highly uncharacteristic of her usual misogynistic fan service/BL/yaoi counter part. It’s interesting to find her enthusiasm towards sculpted half naked males is written in to be much more of a relatable team endeavor rather than a threatening female presence. Look elsewhere for your hateful cockblocking character conundrum (Also categorized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Fangirl Disorders as CCC or C3).

**Look at me throwing around geometry terms like I remember this shit, I am amazing, I should get paid, I deserve a raise.

***Everything Kairi touches exhumes the sweet, sweet, scent of coco butter and rejuvenation. TOUCH ME~~~~~~

And remember readers, the boys with the sass get all the ass.

N.B.: A thousand thanks to Ivan for getting through this episode. Your bravery will be remembered, brave man, and word of your illustrious efforts shall be passed down for generations to come. Also, thanks for the caps.

And remember, we at The Limit of Questions Inc. are not liable for your psychiatric trauma. ;D