Little Busters! - 22

"I Promise I'll Come Back"

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this, but the Key aspects of this series were bound to come center stage sooner than later.

This episode did not at all go the way I expected it to, though that doesn't mean I thought it was bad. In fact, I don't think I've ever empathized more with Kud than I did this week, and it hurts that I did. Before I get to that, however, there were all sorts of strange things going on this time, in subtle forms and otherwise, which pertain to both Kud's arc and the series as a larger mystery. First off, back in Haruka's arc, when the drama hit the fan and the Little Busters were summoned to act, Nishizono Mio could not be reached by cell phone and she was ultimately absent for the entire thing. Note now that both Mio and Haruka were phoned by Riki in this episode, and that neither of them were present for Kud's departure. Secondly, Kyousuke's conversation with Kud, which Riki overhears, is cryptic and could possibly imply more than Riki thought it did; what that is, I couldn't say without venturing into very complicated theories. Thirdly and most obviously, the entire sequence that Riki trips out on seems to have very little to do with Kud and is brought on by the random appearance of a random classmate (voiced by KanaHana? Maybe not so random). If you pay attention, the sequence seems to have to do with Rin and her mysterious letters, though I did see what looked like a picture book (Komari's arc?) and maybe the box that Kud was about to burn. So what the heck was all of this? I'd bet this is the set up for the real story behind the Little Busters (courtesy of Rin) which we'll get to in the next season. For now, we can ignore most of it and focus on sad little Kudryavka.

I was expecting something a little different from Kud's story, perhaps something along the lines to what Haruka and Kanata experienced, but I'm not disappointed by what seems to be the truth. Kud has low self-esteem, and she's developed it through years of bullying, self-doubt, and guilt at being unable to reach her mother's expectations. Like any child who looks up to their parent, she simply wants to be praised by her mother by following in her footsteps, but unfortunately for her, her mother is extra special and it's difficult for Kudryavka to achieve the necessary scholarly marks to become a cosmonaut. Oh Kud, how I understand! I'm ashamed to say I gave up my dream of becoming an astrophysicist for very similar reasoning, and I feel guilt about it toward myself and my family all the time. As everyone tries to tell Kud when she can't decide whether to return to Tebua or not, the things you end up regretting are those which you never did, and that's so true it's painful to admit.

Still, I can't quite see this as being the whole story. Why, for example, did Kud exclaim that she remembered being in jail when she woke up? What exactly is it that she forgot in the first place? Why is it that the Tebuan government doesn't want to let her come back to Japan (bad publicity because of her mother, perhaps?) and why is her regret so powerful that she can't decide to go home right away and see the mother she claims to love? Why place so much emphasis on the thirteen dogs in space or the idea of "becoming a gear"? In truth this felt less like a reveal and more like the build up to a greater truth, and I think we still have much to learn about Kudryavka, whether or not she herself is aware of that fact or prepared to deal with the consequences.